Beginner's mind

There's a wonderful Richard Brautigan story called "Harmonica High" about a high school where everyone has -- and plays -- a harmonica. I was thinking about this the other day because I have a fantasy about playing the harmonica, and in my fantasy I play it really well. So when I'm in the car listening to my tunes and Orange Blossom Special plays, that's me getting down on the harmonica while Johnny Cash sings.

My Aunt Helen learned to play when she was a kid, and like my uncles with their banjos and guitars and ukuleles, she was self taught. The family story is that she would climb up into a tree and sit in the branches to practice. She could make that harmonica sound like a train comin' down the track.

I think I might take up the harmonica as another way to practice being a beginner, and believe me, I need the practice. My friend Kathy and I are starting a new business writing grants for the arts (more to come about this when the web site goes live), and in this business, I am the newbie. Kathy has been writing grants for years for the music school she co-founded, so she knows all the ins and outs of the grant writing world as well as the arts community. I'm not new to writing, but I am new to this way of using my writing skills, so when Kathy and I meet with a client, I sit back and let her lead.

I'm used to being the smarty pants, the one who has the answers or does a darned good job of pretending to, which seems to be the corporate way, and this was an interesting discovery I made: In the corporate world, I had to have a persona of knowledge and competence; I had to act like I knew what I was doing, even when I didn't. I would go to a meeting, nod and look like I understood, and then race back to my desk and try to figure out what the heck they were talking about. It's an effective way to learn, I guess. I got by for more than 20 years learning by the seat of my pants.

But now I'm out of the corporate world,  which means that this Dorothy is not in Kansas anymore; she's in -- well -- Oz! And I really like it here. In this world, everything is new, I'm not sure which direction to take, I'm finding my way with the help of my friends and using some of the learning skills I've picked up along the way. I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have to act like an expert. I'll learn more and learn better and learn faster if I let go of my need to be the know-it-all. I learn from Kathy and from our clients and from just admitting to myself that I have a lot to learn.

So I'm practicing at being a beginner -- except when I listen to Orange Blossom Special, when I'm making that harmonica sing. And maybe I really will take up the harmonica and let myself be a beginner. I imagine that one day someone asks me what I do for fun, and I take a harmonica from my pocket and play like I was sitting on an Indiana back porch on a mosquito night in summer playing the dogs to calm and the babies to sleep and the lovers to bed.

Comments

[Andrew Hartley]

Verna:

I was in Memphis for work over the past two days, and I wanted to let you know that I thought about you while I was on Beale St. last night, standing outside of a cafe/bar, listening to and watching a live band while the singer/leader played a MEAN harmonica for a good couple of minutes with the rest of the band backing him up.

It was awesome, and it made me think of you, and I thought you'd like to know.

So now you do. ;)

Namaste,
Andrew
www.aviationofbusiness.com/AoBBlog

[Lynne Morrell]

I have not commented on your blog before...so, hello there.
I have been enjoying reading about your thoughts on things.
I especially enjoyed this blog and thought that you actually can still be an expert. An expert at Beginners Mind!
Enjoy:)

[Andrew Hartley]

Verna:

Once again, you are doing (or have done) something that I have only thought about - and you describe it beautifully, as always.

You may have a customer in me at some point in the future; my wife and I have been wanting to open a non-profit theatre/arts organization for some time now in our neighborhood in Columbus, Ohio. She's got a BS in theatre and is working on a Masters in Education, and I've got a BS in Management and an MBA in Entrepreneurship... so we've got the theory but not the practice :)

Anyway - you've inspired me to write again, and I'd LOVE it if you would check out my blog and let me know what you think. I've only a few posts so far, but there are many in the pipeline...

Thanks again for you're writing; I LOVE reading your blog!

Namaste,
Andrew - The Aviation of Business
www.aviationofbusiness.com/AoBBlog

[Matty]

Oh, how I love the harmonica. I wonder if I can get lessons over the internet? I must look into that.
A house without music is not a home, and so the music blasts while I do my housework, it makes the work go so much faster....and no neighbours to complain about my singing. Life can't get better than this.
Good luck with your grant writing. Isn't life exciting? always something new to learn?

[Karen Wallace]

Verna, bravo, bravo. This is beautifully written. I can hear you sitting out on the back porch there.. blowing away as the night closes in. Just delicious.

I can relate so much to your way of expressing the front you put on in the corporate world - always at least needing to look like you knew. I found that too. In corporate there is no room for being a beginner... they just dont allow it.

But out here, in this big wide star filled world, to the strains of the harmonica, we can finally come out of hiding and be brave enough to say - I don't know. I don't understand. And we're much better for it.

Good luck with the new business venture!