I'm spending some time today reading my favorite blogs, and when I came across the latest series that Karen Wallace is doing about "getting still," I thought about how I get still. Confession: I lie on the sofa and do nothing.
I don't read, write, listen to music, watch TV, meditate, nap, talk on the phone -- well, I do all of these things at other times, but not when I'm having Quality Sofa Time (QST) -- I just stare at the ceiling or gaze at the bookshelves or make eye contact with my cat. When I first started doing this, it felt strange, like I was being self-indulgent (and why not?!) or lazy (no matter how much work I had done that day) or just plain weird. I didn't want to admit to my friends what I was doing for fear of inviting some kind of intervention. While lying on the sofa, I imagined my posse of friends calling each other and setting up a coup to get me off the couch.
Then I realized what QST really is:
- A time to let my thoughts wander. Sometimes I get ideas for blog posts or I think of a solution to a problem I didn't know I had, but I don't set out to get ideas at all.
- A time to be curious. One time I noticed a couple of small blue spots on the ceiling and couldn't think what in the world they were. They're about the size of a 50-cent piece. I lay there contemplating the spots and then I remembered: When Anthony, my youngest grandson, was about 5 and having a sleepover, we were playing with a small blue rubber ball, and he was making it bounce off the ceiling. Aha! That memory was so sweet (he's 11 now and doesn't do those things anymore) that I decided never to paint over those blue spots of memory.
- A time to just be. How often do we have unstructured time? I have more now that I'm out of the cube, but even so, I often feel compelled to structure my time just because that's the way the world works. Try not wearing a watch sometime and see how that feels. Do you ever stop to think that a watch is a way to keep us moving -- and we call it jewelry?
I would suggest that you try to find time for QST, but that would mean structuring what is meant to have no structure. And if it's not something you just find yourself doing, maybe you're not ready yet. And that's OK. I wasn't ready for years, and once I started doing it, I felt like I had to sneak it in, even though no one is looking. Now it comes naturally: The sofa pillows beckon or I have a sudden desire for a lying-on-my-back view out my living room window or I sit down to talk on the phone, and when I hang up I don't get up.
It can happen to you if you let it. Don't be afraid. And remember, you don't have to tell anyone. It's OK. Really.
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